Vintage Orton: WWE Raw 9/22/14

• AMBROSE! Raw is already off to a good start.  Ambrose 3:16 is in business, so why the hell does John Cena have to get involved?  Why spoil a good thing.  I hope to God Ambrose kicks the crap out of Cena right now.  Instead we'll get a weird misfit tag team where it's good cop bad cop, or more like promising cop and boring cop who we are sick of.
• Love how Ambrose ran straight into the group of people, overran them and then turned and went after Orton.  I also enjoyed the fact that Ambrose called himself WWE's ugly stepchild.  He's not much of a looker but hey neither was the Boogie Man.  

• Every time people go out to fight in the back in the parking lot, the classic scene of Stone Cold Steve Austin getting nailed by that car always pops into my mind.  What a storyline that was.
• Orton vs. Cena will happen for the 78th time this year later on, while Kane vs. Ambrose may actually be entertaining.  This is especially good for Kane, because even when he was feuding with Daniel Bryan for the title it wasn't that exciting.
• Damien Mizdow has quickly gone stale.  What a waste of talent.  I know it's unlikely that the IC title will go back to Ziggler after one night but one can hope, right?  This feud just isn't going anywhere.  Their match last night was pretty solid and if we can get a similar match tonight it won't be so bad.  
• Love Ziggler's hair.  Imagine all the Sun-In that goes into those platinum locks!

Makes the Slim Shady's hair look dark!

• How did The Miz of all people get the 'blessing' of Ric Flair to use the Figure 4?  Did Vince make this happen to help get Miz over with the fans?  Nothing says exciting like a Figure 4 leglock which has been used for the past 40 years.
• I give WWE credit, taking Badd Ass Billy Gunn's Fame Asser finisher and letting Ziggler use it and changing the name to 'Famous-er' was pretty clever.

"I'm an ass man"

• HOLY SHIT ZIGGLER WON! Wow.  That was awesome!  Did not see that one coming at all.  Do you think WWE realized they fucked up last night at Night of Champions when they took the belt from Ziggler early?  Did not see that coming at all! 
• TIME TO BO-LIEVE!  He's so corny that I kinda hate that I like him.  I'm pro Bo still, but he does need a good feud.  He hasn't really done much yet and he's been on the main roster for a few months now.  We don't need another shitty Adam Rose on our hands.  
• Vader Bomb>Swagger Bomb.  Always.  

• C'mon really?  Bo Dallas went like 11-BO and he taps out that easily and quickly to an ankle lock?  Geez.
• Wait, Zeb Colter is awesome, even if he put my boy Bo in his place.  Not a bad impression. Maybe this feud could be saved?  Zeb and Bo going back and forth on the mic could be a lot of fun, and we could be able to get some better matches than the one we just saw.  
• "Yay, Total Divas time!" he blogged, sarcastically.  Does this match really need to happen?  Doesn't the E! network promote Total Divas enough?  Why does it have to cut into Raw time?  This shit aggravates me.  Was the turning point of this match seriously a textbook bodyslam?  Geez.  I think even I could pull off a textbook bodyslam.  This match was awful. 
• The most exciting thing about Nattie is that she has Bret Hart's entrance music and each time it plays there is a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, Bret Hart will actually come out.

• Here we go!  The lunatic in jeans taking on the corporate monster in slacks!  Ambrose has gotta win this one or just lose by DQ, right?   Ambrose got a chair just as I finished typing that last sentence.  My timing is just impeccable.  On a serious note, does anyone else feel like Ambrose could be the second coming of Stone Cold Steve Austin is the writers get this right?  he's a loner who doesn't listen to anybody and just does his own thing, and he can talk.  Even his entrance music is kinda badass like the classic broken glass music that Austin had.
• Well, at least we got a bit of a fight after the DQ.  That was a decent match before the bullshit ending.  I do enjoy the part where everyone is wary of Ambrose's insanity and unpredictability factor.  That makes him seem like a legit threat, which is not seen enough in today's WWE. 
• Wait, what Stephanie said about "when have we ever thrown someone out who didn't come back in?" was extremely accurate.  Some common sense on Raw!  I love it!
• It actually is impressive how Sheamus looks just like Beaker from the Muppets.  I can't believe there is actually someone comparable to a puppet.  

"fella"

• The Usos are in their finest creamsicle outfits tonight.  Also, does Goldust wake up each morning and think "huh, maybe I should make my facepaint even weirder today"?  At least he keeps it updated and interesting.
• Cesaro with the Rhodes boys is pretty interesting.  This actually has potential to be a good match.  That was a hell of a match between Cesaro and Sheamus last night.  I was convinced Cesaro would take the title from him.  Awesome match nonetheless.  
• Think that WWE would ever consider bringing back Teri Runnels to help Goldust at some point?  That chick was a real looker back in her prime, even if she was kind of annoying.
• That legit looked like it hurt when Sheamus smashed his face on the floor outside the ring.  I like Cesaro's euro trashtalking.  He should try this on a streetball court in Harlem sometime. "Get back in zee ring!".
• This match has gone on for way too long.  Hope it gets a good finish.  Eh, it was a very bland finish.  This was somewhat disappointing.  Would've liked to just have Cesaro and Sheamus beat the hell out of each other again like last night.  Cesaro could even wear his fancy bathrobe while doing it.  

wow, I actually forgot about the eyepatch

• So yeah, Sexual Chocolate let down hundreds of millions of American's last night.  It will be very interesting to see who will finally knock off Rusev.  How long is his streak gonna last?  Can we get a Goldberg type of undefeated streak going?  That being said, it'd be nice if Rusev faced some real competition.  He's basically fought Henry, who is past his prime, Swagger who always sucked, and guys similar to the Brooklyn Brawler about 40 times.  
• Every time Lana comes out I hear Archer yelling "Lana.  Lana. LANA! LAAAAANAAAAAAAA!"
• If Mark Henry didn't win at NOC, there's little chance he'll actually win tonight....right?  We're in for a boring match with good ol' Sexual Chocolate and...uh....something Vodka?
• Dammit, I thought we were gonna get a Sexual Chocolate Vader Bomb for a second!  Dammit.  Thanks a lot, Putin.  
• C'mon, is the bunny rabbit really going to fight?  This is getting pathetic now for Adam Rose. What a let down for a newcomer.  
• Oh, so WWE took one of John Morrison's leftover fur coats and dyed it neon green and gave it to Adam Rose.
• "Don't you wish you had a swing like that in your backyard?"- Jerry Lawler on Nikki Bella's entrance.  Sometimes, the King can still reach back into his old bag of tricks from the Attitude Era days.

• God, the Bella feud is still going on?  Was this supposed to be like a main event caliber feud? Because if so, WWE did a worse job then when they always tried to push X-Pac as a fan favorite.  
• Somewhere there is some conspiracy theorist WWE fan who is thinking 'OH MY GOD CM PUNK'S WIFE JUST BEAT JOHN CENA'S GIRLFRIEND ON RAW WHICH MEANS MAYBE HE'S GOING TO COME BACK AT SURVIVOR SERIES!"
• Now Lawler uses a cinderblock and blockhead pun.  God, maybe he should call it quits.  This will be interesting.  Does Ambrose crawl through the ceiling tiles or something and escape?  That'd be fun.  
• Will Ambrose be under the wooden box thingy?  That'd be a fun twist.  
• "Vintage Orton" is just fancy talk for "same old boring move by Orton".  This match has seriously happened so many times.  Can't even joke about it.

• What is with all of the DQ finishes?  This is getting pretty annoying now.  Message to the writing staff: GET BETTER.  Just get creative, DQ finishes are a cheap way out. 
• CALLED IT! Ambrose in the box.  On a roll tonight, kinda, sorta, not really.  Ambrose just saved the end of Raw.  God damn, that clothesline from hell by Ambrose is impressive.  So fun to watch.  I'm sure it makes JBL feel like a proud father watching Ambrose hit people with that.