Mrs. Foley's Baby Boy: Raw 10/22/14

• Always nice kicking things off with the ominous Hell in a Cell hanging above the ring. Such wonderful memories in that thing!  Mankind getting tossed off and then through the top of the cell.  Kane making his debut by ripping the doors off of it to confront his brother the Undertaker.  Undertaker chokeslamming Rikishi off the top onto a truck bed.  CM Punk beating up Paul Heyman.  Man, good times.  Good times. 
• C'mon Rollins, can't give yourself a nickname.  You think Billy Gunn named himself "Mr. Ass"?  

I mean, I don't think he give himself this nickname.

• Randy Orton just became the crowd favorite to beat Cena this Sunday.  Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton would actually be refreshing and could provide Orton the face turn he kinda needs at this point.  I still think Ambrose wins, especially since the Money in the Bank briefcase isn't on the line.
• Kinda funny move by Kane right there spookin' everyone with his pyro without a heads up.  No common courtesy needed. 
• There are numerous rumors about the Dudley Boyz making a WWE return in the near future, and that would shake up the tag team division in a HUGE way.  Imagine that!? We can stop getting Gold and Stardust and the Uso's battling each other in 6 man tag matches with two guys in a random feud thrown in on each side. 

Simpler times.

• How many people are going to be Stardust for Halloween this year?  He might be the most disturbing costume of this year.  That goddamn smile of his is probably creepier than See No Evil. 
• Crowd gave a nice reaction to Sandow/Mizdow being the replacement in this match, which isn't surprising at all.  Hope he leaves Miz in his dust at the PPV, maybe taking the US title from Sheamus at the same time. 
• Sheamus from the top rope was about as graceful as blind man in a limbo competition.
• Wow.  Sandow gets the victory.  That is awesome.  Keep Sandow rolling!  Things were so bright for him when he was a Mr. Money in the Bank winner.  I still wish he got a title run, even a brief one where Cena took it back.  Just felt like a waste that he never got to seriously cash it in.  Still not as bad as when Mr. Kennedy got the briefcase stolen from him by Edge (I think?  Dating myself here).  Kennedy had a real shot to be a huge name for WWE but he must've pissed somebody off pretty bad. 

• Shouldn't AJ have a cooler song by now?  She's sort of a punk rock chick/self proclaimed nerd and she has this weirdo pop song that sounds like something Paris Hilton made.  As for AJ/Paige again at Hell in a Cell for the title, it may be stale, but we can't really complain because no one else can step up and give either of these two a challenge. 
• At this point in time, Hulk Hogan making an appearance is no longer exciting.  Things would be so much better if he came back to actually do things like be a special guest referee or some sort of enforcer.  Then again, maybe people finally realized that he was kind of corny back in the day and that his main 3 moves which defeated thousands over the past 50 years consisted of a body slam, a big boot and a leg drop.  Seriously, Hulk Hogan could hit me with all 3 of these at a bar and I think I would kick out at 2 and a half. 
• Interesting speech right now, Randy Orton gained back the crowd when they seemed bored, he made bold statements, and he gave a nod to the similar paths that they have had over the past 12 years or so.  I love any reference made towards the Cena rap gimmick.  Really hoping Orton wins on Sunday.  
• John Cena is now here to retort, so I'm going to tune out and watch that soccer team do the RKO goal celebration.

• Geez. Are the Kansas City Royals really the focus of this current feud of Orton/Cena? This might be a whole new low for WWE while shoving this feud down our throats.  
• That spinning heel kick from Rusev was reminiscent of Owen Hart.  Rusev is a freak.  Someone his size should not be able to move like that.  He'll be fun to watch in the future.  Also, it's good that Big E got some screen time on Raw.  It's kind of been a while.  He had some promise with his Intercontinental title run, but then again so did Fandango when he had it.  No wonder why no one cares about the IC title these days.  Woof. 
• Oh that Big Show.  Classic swapping of the flags!!! He was always a joker.  
• Wow.  Did they really just have Rusev kick a guy portraying a soldier?  Great way to gain some heat on a guy, but damn.  I can see this being a big PR blunder for WWE.  
• Angry Big Show is by far the best Big Show.  Usually, angry Big Show is normally a hell Big Show.  Face Big Show is just a big softy who is kinda lame.  We may have a rare occasion for an angry face Big Show, which is almost unheard of.  This could get interesting.  

• Ah Ambrose.  The man has the comedic gene which the WWE actually needs.  Also, Ambrose fucking loves popcorn.  

• Remember that time Lita and Trish Stratus main evented Raw that one time and actually put on a match worthy of main eventing?  Summer Rae vs. Brie Bella right now as a quick filler match isn't even worthy of a quick filler match.  The divas division is abysmal.  
• The writers are killing Ambrose with a dumbass skit like that with a dummy Seth Rollins.  C'mon.  That was awful.
• Mick Foley!?  Holy shit.  This got so much better so fast.  Foley advocating for a Shield reunion?  That's a lot of high praise.  There really isn't a better advocate for Hell in a Cell and insanity than Mick Foley.  WWE could've saved themselves 10 minutes and just had Ambrose and Rollins bickering back and forth and then send Foley out there.  
• 
  

The Lunatic Fringe: WWE Raw 10/13/14

• Can't go wrong starting things off with Ambrose to kick off Raw.  It's like dessert for breakfast! Extra bacon on anything! Free beer!  Just can't go wrong.  
• I like the idea of Cena vs. Ambrose at Hell in a Cell for the right to face Rollins, but does it have to be a contract on a pole match?  Such a lame stipulation.  Those matches never seem to stack up to the expectations. 
• Do you think WWE had John Cena get permission from The Chive to use the whole 'Keep Calm and Never Give Up' slogan on his shirt? Maybe not original, but it's better than the whole U Can't C Me crap that got stale about 11 years ago. 

• Oh good, they still get to do the shameless $9.99 plug for the WWE Network.  I was hoping for another week of that. 
• Wait, is this match going to be the main event, to start things off?  What the hell is the end of the show going to be?  Orton vs. Kane for the 84th time?
• Hoping for a good match here, with Ambrose snapping and grabbing a steel chair and just destroying everyone with it.  Ref included. Talk about unstable!  He could blame it on his jeans looking a bit too skinny tonight.  Jeans that are too skinny could even make Ghandi snap. 
• Anyone else think the Uso's somewhat new thing of sliding quick to turn around is a big waste of time?  Just stop and turn around.  Show offs. 
• Remember back in the day when good ol' JR had trouble telling the Hardy Boyz and Edge and Christian apart in tag matches?  I feel like he'd have no chance with telling the Uso's apart.  

It really wasn't that hard JR. C'mon.

• Loving the crowd reaction for Stardust.  He's like a modern day Santino, only with actual wrestling skill. Hope to God that Stardust scores the pinfall over Cena tonight.  The roof might cave in if that happens.
• Who has the better powerslam: Orton or Goldust?  Real toss up in my opinion.  
• This match got very interesting very quickly.  Always interesting when John Cena adds a 6th move of doom to the usual 5 moves of doom with a dive from the top rope.  Huge spot from Ambrose following up Cena's dive.  Awesome match.  That was pretty entertaining, but how can they follow this up?
• Okay I might have spoke too soon.  This episode of Raw could get very interesting if this match actually happens tonight.  This is awesome.  

• Emma is still around?  I seriously forgot she existed after poor Santino had to retire.  
• The beatdown AJ just gave Layla after the match was so much more entertaining than the actual match that just took place.  Also, great Shining Wizard by AJ to get the pinfall.  That's a legit move that always looks good when it connects.  

great form, questionable mask.

• You guys think Randy Orton will turn face soon?  Kind of in no man's land these days.  That being said, this match between him and Dolph Ziggler could be a lot of fun.  
• What is going on with Bray Wyatt these days?  Rowan and Harper are set free like Doby the house elf, but where does this leave Bray Wyatt?  He's been too quiet.  How can WWE creative not have good ideas for him.  He should be in the main event picture or the upper-mid card all year long.  This doesn't make sense at all.  

Oooh! 

• Cesaro on commentary could be fun.  Good start by rolling with the punches when Ziggler threw his tshirt at him but hit JBL instead.  I hope the Cesaro and Ziggler feud for the IC title lasts a while.  May not be the best for mic work, but those two can both wrestle like nobody's business.  They have the potential to work a highly entertaining match together.  
• Depending on the outcome of this match, could Ziggler become a target of the Authority along with the likes of Ambrose and Cena?  Think about it: crowd loves him, he jokes around a lot, talented worker.  He could be an added pest.  Authority adopts Cesaro as their bodyguard type and Ziggler could become a target.  
• Jerry Lawler hitting Cesaro with the tough questions like "can you out dropkick Ziggler?" Geez.  I'm all for nostalgia but get Lawler off air.  He clearly is a shell of his former self from the Attitude Era days when he had legitimately funny jokes.  

can't believe we'll never have a match between these two again.

• Crowd is surprisingly pro-Orton right now.  Even more than just the chicks who like his bod. Interesting having Rollins come out right now.  Could Rollins and Orton have a feud in the future?  Actually, if WWE really wanted to make the IC title relevant again, a fatal four way match between Rollins Ziggler Orton and Cesaro could be a lot of fun.  
• Aren't superplexes fun?  And god damn, Ziggler does a great job of selling moves.  Theres a fine line between overselling to a point of it looking ridiculous (ex: the Rock after a Stone Cold Stunner) and looking like you're actually in pain.  Ziggler might be the best at that.  
• Boy, somewhere Shawn Michaels just smiled watching that Superkick by Ziggler.  Great match so far by these two.  Still interested in what role Rollins plays here.

such a classic. 

• WOW.  What an RKO.  Holy hell.  Great match with an even greater ending.  That was impressive and pretty unexpected.  Raw has been off to a great start so far.  
• I may be on to something here with the whole Ziggler being on the Authority's shitlist thing.  This may be happening way sooner than I thought.  Also, this is still the greatest unexpected RKO of all time: 

Amazeballs. 

• Ok so I must say, having another solid opportunity of a match between Swagger and Rollins following Orton/Ziggler is great.  Feels like the Attitude Era.  Solid match after solid match. Keep it coming.  This is the formula you need.  Not random 10 minute segments plugging Total Divas again.  
• I wonder how effectively things would've worked had Ambrose been the one to turn his back on the Shield and Rollins become the hero.  I think they made the right call having the unstable Ambrose be the 'antihero' who people love, but it is interesting if Rollins and his high flying move set could win over the audience.  
• Decent match so far.  WWE really teasing some animosity between Orton and Rollins. Wonder if the briefcase could become involved.  
• Enziguris always make me a bit uneasy.  That is one move that always makes me cringe each time it happens, mostly because it always sounds so loud.  
• "You wore a crown to the ring your entire career and you're talking about gloating!?"-JBL to King.  Well played, sir.  Well played.  

That's right.

• Loved the reversal of the Curb Stomp into the ankle lock.  Not a bad match.  Still not sure where we are at in this Rollins/Orton thing.  It would be weird for Orton to also get involved in the chase after Rollins along with Cena and Ambrose, but maybe he could play a role somehow.  
• So instead of putting the fear of handicap matches, suspensions, fines or possible termination, the Big Show gets hit with sensitivity training?  This really does prove that the Attitude Era is dead.  
• No chance Big Show wins this match on Raw.  They'll save Rusev's first loss for a PPV, I'd imagine.  
• Can't quite tell if there is something wrong with Lana calling out Columbus, then the Atlanta Braves, and the crowd reacting by doing the Braves tomahawk chop thing.  
• Things are going too well for the Big Show early on in this match.  Something's gotta give. Maybe Rusev gets himself DQ'd.
• Big night for dropkicks!  That was pretty impressive how high Rusev got for such a big guy. This guy is a freak.  

How has AJ Styles not been in WWE yet?

• Has Big Show ever connected on an aerial move from the turnbuckle?  I think he's like 0-30 lifetime.  For a second there I thought Mark Henry was going to turn full heel and attack the Big Show but he might've somehow managed to do that by helping him out with the DQ.  
• Damien Sandow is the most exciting part of this match between Sheamus and Miz.  God this might be boring.  I honestly like watching Sandow punch the air more than the Miz punching an actual person. 
• Wow.  That was a countout victory that was somewhat clever.  I can't believe that just happened.  
• Remember earlier when I said how great it was to have a bunch of awesome matches all night? This Total Divas plus NeNe Wiki-leaks could be real ruin the entire thing.  The lack of crowd reaction for this match just tells you everything you need to know.  This is awful.  This match could last 30 seconds and I'd tell you it went on for way too long. 
• Now that thats over, it's showtime.  Let's go Ambrose.  Another awesome vignette from Bray Wyatt.  Let's hope he gets a monster push this time around.  Things will get weird.

I love the internet.

• The possibilities of Ambrose/Rollins in the cell is mouthwatering for wrestling fans.  Let it happen.  Please.  Have it be the climax to the feud.  Put the Money in the Bank briefcase on the line.  Make it happen.  
• I love it!  Bring biting back! How is the crowd not into this match?  I guess deadly combo of Real Housewives and Total Divas really ruined their night.  Kinda can't blame them, but this match actually has meaning! 
• God dammit.  I hoped that this wouldn't be some bullshit ending, but I'll take Ambrose/Rollins at Hell in a Cell. Surprise surprise: a something-on-a-pole match didn't live up to expectations.  

Vintage Orton: WWE Raw 9/22/14

• AMBROSE! Raw is already off to a good start.  Ambrose 3:16 is in business, so why the hell does John Cena have to get involved?  Why spoil a good thing.  I hope to God Ambrose kicks the crap out of Cena right now.  Instead we'll get a weird misfit tag team where it's good cop bad cop, or more like promising cop and boring cop who we are sick of.
• Love how Ambrose ran straight into the group of people, overran them and then turned and went after Orton.  I also enjoyed the fact that Ambrose called himself WWE's ugly stepchild.  He's not much of a looker but hey neither was the Boogie Man.  

• Every time people go out to fight in the back in the parking lot, the classic scene of Stone Cold Steve Austin getting nailed by that car always pops into my mind.  What a storyline that was.
• Orton vs. Cena will happen for the 78th time this year later on, while Kane vs. Ambrose may actually be entertaining.  This is especially good for Kane, because even when he was feuding with Daniel Bryan for the title it wasn't that exciting.
• Damien Mizdow has quickly gone stale.  What a waste of talent.  I know it's unlikely that the IC title will go back to Ziggler after one night but one can hope, right?  This feud just isn't going anywhere.  Their match last night was pretty solid and if we can get a similar match tonight it won't be so bad.  
• Love Ziggler's hair.  Imagine all the Sun-In that goes into those platinum locks!

Makes the Slim Shady's hair look dark!

• How did The Miz of all people get the 'blessing' of Ric Flair to use the Figure 4?  Did Vince make this happen to help get Miz over with the fans?  Nothing says exciting like a Figure 4 leglock which has been used for the past 40 years.
• I give WWE credit, taking Badd Ass Billy Gunn's Fame Asser finisher and letting Ziggler use it and changing the name to 'Famous-er' was pretty clever.

"I'm an ass man"

• HOLY SHIT ZIGGLER WON! Wow.  That was awesome!  Did not see that one coming at all.  Do you think WWE realized they fucked up last night at Night of Champions when they took the belt from Ziggler early?  Did not see that coming at all! 
• TIME TO BO-LIEVE!  He's so corny that I kinda hate that I like him.  I'm pro Bo still, but he does need a good feud.  He hasn't really done much yet and he's been on the main roster for a few months now.  We don't need another shitty Adam Rose on our hands.  
• Vader Bomb>Swagger Bomb.  Always.  

• C'mon really?  Bo Dallas went like 11-BO and he taps out that easily and quickly to an ankle lock?  Geez.
• Wait, Zeb Colter is awesome, even if he put my boy Bo in his place.  Not a bad impression. Maybe this feud could be saved?  Zeb and Bo going back and forth on the mic could be a lot of fun, and we could be able to get some better matches than the one we just saw.  
• "Yay, Total Divas time!" he blogged, sarcastically.  Does this match really need to happen?  Doesn't the E! network promote Total Divas enough?  Why does it have to cut into Raw time?  This shit aggravates me.  Was the turning point of this match seriously a textbook bodyslam?  Geez.  I think even I could pull off a textbook bodyslam.  This match was awful. 
• The most exciting thing about Nattie is that she has Bret Hart's entrance music and each time it plays there is a sliver of hope that maybe, just maybe, Bret Hart will actually come out.

• Here we go!  The lunatic in jeans taking on the corporate monster in slacks!  Ambrose has gotta win this one or just lose by DQ, right?   Ambrose got a chair just as I finished typing that last sentence.  My timing is just impeccable.  On a serious note, does anyone else feel like Ambrose could be the second coming of Stone Cold Steve Austin is the writers get this right?  he's a loner who doesn't listen to anybody and just does his own thing, and he can talk.  Even his entrance music is kinda badass like the classic broken glass music that Austin had.
• Well, at least we got a bit of a fight after the DQ.  That was a decent match before the bullshit ending.  I do enjoy the part where everyone is wary of Ambrose's insanity and unpredictability factor.  That makes him seem like a legit threat, which is not seen enough in today's WWE. 
• Wait, what Stephanie said about "when have we ever thrown someone out who didn't come back in?" was extremely accurate.  Some common sense on Raw!  I love it!
• It actually is impressive how Sheamus looks just like Beaker from the Muppets.  I can't believe there is actually someone comparable to a puppet.  

"fella"

• The Usos are in their finest creamsicle outfits tonight.  Also, does Goldust wake up each morning and think "huh, maybe I should make my facepaint even weirder today"?  At least he keeps it updated and interesting.
• Cesaro with the Rhodes boys is pretty interesting.  This actually has potential to be a good match.  That was a hell of a match between Cesaro and Sheamus last night.  I was convinced Cesaro would take the title from him.  Awesome match nonetheless.  
• Think that WWE would ever consider bringing back Teri Runnels to help Goldust at some point?  That chick was a real looker back in her prime, even if she was kind of annoying.
• That legit looked like it hurt when Sheamus smashed his face on the floor outside the ring.  I like Cesaro's euro trashtalking.  He should try this on a streetball court in Harlem sometime. "Get back in zee ring!".
• This match has gone on for way too long.  Hope it gets a good finish.  Eh, it was a very bland finish.  This was somewhat disappointing.  Would've liked to just have Cesaro and Sheamus beat the hell out of each other again like last night.  Cesaro could even wear his fancy bathrobe while doing it.  

wow, I actually forgot about the eyepatch

• So yeah, Sexual Chocolate let down hundreds of millions of American's last night.  It will be very interesting to see who will finally knock off Rusev.  How long is his streak gonna last?  Can we get a Goldberg type of undefeated streak going?  That being said, it'd be nice if Rusev faced some real competition.  He's basically fought Henry, who is past his prime, Swagger who always sucked, and guys similar to the Brooklyn Brawler about 40 times.  
• Every time Lana comes out I hear Archer yelling "Lana.  Lana. LANA! LAAAAANAAAAAAAA!"
• If Mark Henry didn't win at NOC, there's little chance he'll actually win tonight....right?  We're in for a boring match with good ol' Sexual Chocolate and...uh....something Vodka?
• Dammit, I thought we were gonna get a Sexual Chocolate Vader Bomb for a second!  Dammit.  Thanks a lot, Putin.  
• C'mon, is the bunny rabbit really going to fight?  This is getting pathetic now for Adam Rose. What a let down for a newcomer.  
• Oh, so WWE took one of John Morrison's leftover fur coats and dyed it neon green and gave it to Adam Rose.
• "Don't you wish you had a swing like that in your backyard?"- Jerry Lawler on Nikki Bella's entrance.  Sometimes, the King can still reach back into his old bag of tricks from the Attitude Era days.

• God, the Bella feud is still going on?  Was this supposed to be like a main event caliber feud? Because if so, WWE did a worse job then when they always tried to push X-Pac as a fan favorite.  
• Somewhere there is some conspiracy theorist WWE fan who is thinking 'OH MY GOD CM PUNK'S WIFE JUST BEAT JOHN CENA'S GIRLFRIEND ON RAW WHICH MEANS MAYBE HE'S GOING TO COME BACK AT SURVIVOR SERIES!"
• Now Lawler uses a cinderblock and blockhead pun.  God, maybe he should call it quits.  This will be interesting.  Does Ambrose crawl through the ceiling tiles or something and escape?  That'd be fun.  
• Will Ambrose be under the wooden box thingy?  That'd be a fun twist.  
• "Vintage Orton" is just fancy talk for "same old boring move by Orton".  This match has seriously happened so many times.  Can't even joke about it.

• What is with all of the DQ finishes?  This is getting pretty annoying now.  Message to the writing staff: GET BETTER.  Just get creative, DQ finishes are a cheap way out. 
• CALLED IT! Ambrose in the box.  On a roll tonight, kinda, sorta, not really.  Ambrose just saved the end of Raw.  God damn, that clothesline from hell by Ambrose is impressive.  So fun to watch.  I'm sure it makes JBL feel like a proud father watching Ambrose hit people with that.  

WWE Night of Champions Preview

First of all, I'm not looking forward to this PPV.  This is one of the most disappointing cards for a PPV in a long time, maybe since I actually attended last year's Survivor Series in Boston  (that's okay, all was forgiven when I attended this past July's Money In The Bank).  To put it bluntly, there just really isn't anything exciting about this card.  Nothing.  Even the mediocre PPV's have a match or two that will pique the interest of WWE fans and get them to be pumped for it, but this really doesn't give us much.  I'm attributing this to the God-awful Raw's and lack of pushing rivalries such as Orton vs. Jericho and having a fan favorite like Dolph Ziggler square off against someone who no one cares about at all, The Miz.  It also doesn't help when the current champion shows up whenever he wants, which isn't often, and when he does show up he doesn't really do much on Raw.  The match I think everyone was looking forward to the most was probably Rollins vs. Reigns but of course that can't happen now due to Reigns having hernia surgery.  Maybe Dean Ambrose can come back early and just fight Rollins for the hell of it?  This is frustrating, but I'm just hoping that we get a clean slate on things following Night of Champions.  Now, let's look into the matches.

Randy Orton vs. Chris Jericho: Hasn't this been done a bunch of times already?  I feel like this feud just started two weeks ago because Orton attacked Y2J in the trainers room and then gave a vague reason as to why.  When asked his reason, Orton should've just said "Because I can't take a vacation for a few months just quite yet".

Ironically, YOU might have booked this crap, HHH.

Poor Y2J is stuck in this feud and it's useless.  Does either character benefit from this?  If WWE were smart they would've found some way to add Wyatt into the mix and make it a hardcore match or something exciting.  Thinking about it now, can't we get a Wyatt/Orton feud soon?  Make Wyatt be the clearcut babyface for once and let him work with a guy who is definitely talented.  As for this match, I'm gonna give the W to Orton, because they don't want to make him look weak to a part timer (albeit a legendary part timer) on a throwaway PPV.

Mark Henry vs. Rusev: This could be more interesting than it seems.  Rusev still has his undefeated streak going, which might be the only interesting thing about him.  Mark Henry is in the last stage of his career, and he might be rewarded with a big victory over Rusev as the mark of a sendoff for him.  Rusev and Lana do a good job at making themselves be hated, but mostly out of annoyance and Lana's fake accent.  I think this match is gonna be longer than it needs to be and probably more boring than it has to be, but I will admit that the winner will be a total tossup.  I'm going to say that Rusev still gets the victory and his dominance over America continues for a bit longer.

Uh...hey, how are ya?

Usos vs. Gold & Stardust WWE Tag Team Championship:  Pretty confused by this whole thing.  How are Rowan and Harper not in the mix for the titles?  As odd and somewhat disturbing Stardust and Goldust are, I don't get how they entered the title picture.  Are they even capable of being heel in this feud?  I am PRAYING for the athleticism in this match.  Lot's of dives and aerial attacks.  The Usos have a shot to steal the show tonight, and Stardust can give us some jaw dropping moves every once in awhile, along with some extremely uncomfortable smiles.  That guy still gives me the heebie jeebies each time he starts talking about the cosmos and stars and goats and stuff.  Geez.  I don't see how the Usos drop the belts tonight, so I'm taking them to win it in a pretty exciting match.

Nightmares.

Rollins: Now that Reigns is hurt and can't compete tonight, what does Seth Rollins do?  I'm guessing he cuts a promo talking about how weak Reigns and Ambrose are without him, and FINALLY Dean Ambrose will come out from the crowd and kick the crap out of Rollins.  Other possibility?  Since Reigns can't compete, the fans are going to be disappointed, so let's get an unexpected match between Rollins and Ambrose.  Maybe Rollins does one of those cocky "I'll take on anyone in the back" open challenges and Ambrose surprises us all.  This could also make up for their lack of a match at Payback.  Rollins won't be quiet tonight, the actual question is if Ambrose is involved.

Sheamus vs. Cesaro WWE US Championship: CESARO TIME!  I think this could be a solid match.  Cesaro needs someone good to feud with, and Sheamus might be boring but he's a great competitor, so we might have a good feud on our hands.  This being said, I want Cesaro winning the title, probably by cheating in some form.  I'm also hoping that Corporate Kane aids Cesaro, meaning that the Authority will finally get their bruiser to do some dirty work for them.  Cesaro just needs a little direction, and tonight could be the start of it.  I'm taking him to win with the help of either Kane or a weapon or something.  Also, let's get a Cesaro Swing at some point, please?

Nikki Bella vs. Paige vs. AJ Lee Divas Championship: Can't wait for AJ and Paige to carry the bulk of this match.  I'm saying this right now: if they give the belt to Nikki Bella and start a feud for the belt between her and Brie then I will be pissed.  The only hope for the Divas division right now are AJ and Paige, and I hope that WWE doesn't mess this up by trying to promote Total Divas with the title on the line.  It would be a slap in the face for both Paige and AJ who are actually talented and fun to watch.  I am perfectly content with AJ or Paige winning.  For the sake of predictions, I think Paige retains the belt with AJ getting screwed over.  If Nikki wins, somewhere out there the likes of Chyna, Lita and Trish Stratus will be weeping about what has become of their Divas division.

The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler WWE Intercontinental Championship:  This could be fun, but it depends on The Miz.  I'm hoping for The Miz being on a meanstreak and giving Ziggler a run for his money in an exciting match.  I love watching Ziggler wrestle.  He's entertaining and he actually backs up his 'stealing the show' mantra.  The Miz is so hit or miss these days.  He's so annoying, which is good character-wise at times, but also his moves are so bland and his finisher is more lame than a wallet chain.  I hope Ziggler doesn't lose the title after just a month.  That'd be a waste and that just happened when the Miz was champion.  I'm actually thinking now: what if Sandow turns on Miz and finally starts getting some relevance?  That'd be a cool situation to have.  For my money, keep the belt on Ziggler, and let's see if Sandow grows some balls back and go back to his insults and solid in ring skills.

This was kinda fun.

Lesnar vs. Cena WWE Heavyweight Championship:  Cena can't win.  Please, no.  Summerslam was pretty shocking.  NO ONE was expecting the way that match happened.  The shock was not that Lesnar won, but how he did so.  I still can't believe Vince actually allowed his golden boy to get tossed around like a rag doll by Lesnar all night.  It was genuinely shocking seeing that happen, which made for a riveting match.  This time around, I think it's safe to say it will be much closer, and very hard hitting both ways.

Yikes.

I can't imagine Lesnar drops the title tonight.  That would be a waste, and Cena has already done it so many times.  When Lesnar loses the title, it's going to be pretty momentous.  Let that happen to someone fresh, not boring old John Cena for the 904th time where he defies the odds and comes out on top.  Lesnar wins this one in a showdown.  I'm expecting a lot of those brutal German suplexes, and an F-5 through the announcers table at some point.  I'll put it this way, the odds of him winning are much better than the odds of him showing up to the next episodes of Raw.

Good God Almighty...That Was Bad: WWE Raw 9/15/14

• Ah! Paul Heyman kicking things off, looks promising.  Maybe John Cena beating him up will be just as exciting as when CM Punk finally got around to doing it.  I doubt it though.
• Aw is tonight not one of the 11 episodes of Raw that Brock is scheduled for?
• "At halftime, when this show is halfway done" said Cena, leaving more reason for people to create signs of him saying "Meep Moop"
• Where the hell does Jerry Lawler find these shirts?  Even Ed Hardy would call his wardrobe tacky these days.

This is actually a more tame shirt for King these days.

• Reigns vs. Rollins is promising but $20 says we get 10 minutes of a solid match before Kane (brought to you by Men's Wearhouse) interferes and it'll end up being a big waste of time.
• Very glad Y2J still uses his classic entrance music and not some Fozzy b-side.

• How many times have Kane and Jericho squared off?  This will be boring and end in DQ or interference or maybe even both.
• I understand Kane being in the Authority but can't he just always wear the mask use flames and stuff?  No one should wrestle in 'slacks'.  No one should call them 'slacks'.  Remember the Right To Censor?  Those idiots wrestled in slacks and nobody liked those guys.  

The Not Fucking Around Crew

• Jericho/Orton is a match at Night of Champions?  Wow.  Does anyone care about this at all?  Didn't this feud just start like a week ago?  Nice buildup for that one.  
• Are refs really wearing latex gloves now?  Anything to help ratings, I guess.
• Chokeslam countered with a DDT?  Wow.  That's actually somewhat exciting.  That's a better counter for it than 99% of the rest, which is usually just a kick to the gut.  God bless Chris Jericho, you guys.
• Holy shit did WWE really resort to using a jingle for this new $9.99 WWE Network commercial?  Jesus.  This is getting embarrassing.
• You know why I only blog about Raw?  Because Smackdown has shit like 'international arm wrestling' contests.
• Great Khali hired to watch a door?  This is the most relevant Khali has been on an episode of Raw in years!
• Still can't get over Swagger being a face for the first time ever.  Without Zeb, he's gotta be one of the most boring superstars ever.  Steve Blackman had more charisma than Swagger.

• Do you think JBL likes being the one backing Bo Dallas on commentary?  So tongue in cheek you have to wonder if he's being sarcastic.
• "We The People" vs. "We Bo-Lieve" chant wars are a nice change up from "Let's Go Cena" vs. "Cena Sucks"
• God, just let Bo Dallas join the Wyatt family already.
• Sucks that AJ and Paige have to carry the Bella Twins tonight.  I think this match was a success because a CM PUNK chant never materialized.  Good job ladies!
• Khali 'breaking' Heyman's iphone was brutal.  The 'iphone' breaks yet the fake screen was still visible.  Can Vince really not afford a real iphone for this angle?  Great Khali can't do anything right.  Even Paul Heyman can't save him.  
• Big Show really goes from the big ol' nasty bastard heel to the lovable big ol' teddy bear face very easily.  There is no real in-between for him, which I can't tell if it's good or bad.
• If you're a writer for WWE, how do you not have Wyatt in a meaningful feud right now?  This is actually sad.  
• Okay, that double chokeslam from Show was actually pretty impressive.  That's a lot of weight, ya know?  Takes a lot of wrist curls do pull that one off.
• Stardust's entrance is still so goofy that you hate to catch yourself laughing at it.  Also, still waiting on the Cesaro push or entry to the Authority.  Just make it happen.  Don't leave his character in limbo.  
• Still not letting Cesaro use the Cesaro Swing eh?  That's lame.  This show needs all the help it can get.  Bring back the Swing!

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

• I hope Lesnar kicks the crap out of Khali, just for fun-zies.  
• Most surprising part of this Cena-Heyman showdown?  Heyman is only 49 and has a couple of kids.  
• Cena as a Heyman guy is the most refreshing idea for his character in years.  Vince needs to do something about this.
• Eat. Sleep.  German Suplex.  Leave.

• Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit were the masters of the German suplex in my opinion.  Each time Lesnar performs one I actually get nervous that Cena will actually break his neck.
• I don't even want to write about how bad this Total Divas match with Naomi and the other one is.
• Never mind.  That was one of the worst matches I've ever seen.  Did she tap out before the submission hold was even fully locked in?  Awful.  Just awful.
• I respect R-Ziggler.  Strange not seeing him in baggy jeans though.  Can't Ziggler be put in the Heavyweight title picture already? 
• Whose spray tan is worse: Miz or Christian's from a few months ago?

• Did Rollins just call Reigns a Samoan Gorilla-Rhinoceros?  The Reality Era sucks.  
• Is Rollins' briefcase and contract still soaked from soda and popcorn?  God I miss Dean Ambrose.  His return can't come soon enough.
• I'm actually stunned that Reigns won cleanly over Rollins.  How did this not headline Raw?  Only good match/good anything so far from this episode, and no my hopes aren't high for the showdown of Rusev vs. The Guy That Had a Baby Hand With Mae Young.

• Glad that the final Raw before Night of Champions is main evented by Sexual Chocolate chants surrounding a non-title match.  Are the writers even trying?  Are they on strike?  Do they need a raise or something?  This is just ugly.  Someone actually agreed that this should be the ending to Raw.
• Think about it, Lana's awful accent is main eventing Raw, talking about the 1992 Olympics.  This may seriously go down as one of the worst endings to Raw ever, never mind leading into a PPV.  

Utterly disappointing.  I hope to God that they just start over fresh after Night of Champions.  The past month or so after Summerslam has been an embarrassment for the company.  They need a clean slate sooner rather than later, hopefully with next weeks Raw as the starting point. 

WWE Raw 9/8/14 Live Blog

Here we go, first Raw covered by Raw is What!? How is this the season premiere of Raw?  The show is year round and has been on every Monday night for the past like 59 years.  

• Steel cage matches are an excellent way to kick things off, even if this feud between Jericho and Wyatt has gone stale as a 3 month old Olive Garden breadstick. 

"Last one to blink gets a breadstick"

• Bray Wyatt calls the cell phone lights during his entrance 'fireflies'?  That's weak shit.  I think of fireflies and all I think is that awful song by Owl City.  Bet Bray Wyatt is a fan of that song and is paying homage to it by using that term.  They really couldn't think of anything more demonic?  
• Although it's a nice change of pace to the normal match, does anyone else feel like cage matches just aren't as exciting?  Maybe due to the invention of Hell in a Cell and the Elimination Chamber.  Also, I never liked how you can win by escaping through the door. Kind of a cheap way out and all it does is make the inevitable help from the outside happen.

"OOH I REALLY LIKE FIREFLIES"

• Holy shit.  Alright that was pretty sweet by Jericho.  I liked that 'Why not?' shrug he gave before leaping like Superfly Snuka off the top.  Somewhere good ol' JR is smiling and mentioning something about a slobberknocker.  So far this has been a good match, and what a spot by Y2J there.  
• Actually thought Jericho seriously hurt his knee there until Wyatt started beating on it.  Kind of an awkward finish for such a great match.  Wyatt just rolled out of there like he was on fire.  Or drunkenly falling out of his bunk bed.  

• OH yeah Dolph Ziggler talking about invasion of privacy!  This is gonna be a segment and a half!  Is calling The Miz a D-lister hurtful or just plain accurate?  I'm thinking accurate.  
• Oh goody!  Hacked photos of the Miz.  I bet Miz actually had some fun taking these photos. Poor Damien Sandow.  A year ago this guy was the smartass who actually had a personality and decent ring skills.  Now I'm wondering how he got into that white jacket/scarf/hood/whatever thing.  He must've slept with somebody in charge's daughter or something.  

Feels like an eternity ago.

• "I will make sure you never work in this town again"  said Miz, the mayor of Baltimore.  
• Well that segment certainly wasn't the classic Y2J making fun of Chris Benoit on a boat or calling Stephanie McMahon awful things, but Ziggler did an alright job there.  Also, the Miz is so boring.  As a face and as a heel, he just doesn't work.

• Why the hell does WWE still feel the need to invite celebs to Raw?  Actually, in a sad way, Jerry Springer might be the most relevant celebrity to appear on Raw due to his ability to work with feuds, but still, I'd rather watch Springer hosting Baggage or his own show.  Remember when Michael Strahan hosted?  That was fucking awful.  
• The entire Divas division should just focus around AJ Lee.  Everyone else is kinda garbage.  Paige needs a tan, the most exciting thing about Natty is that she switched from wrestling in pants to shorts, Eva Marie is hot but laughably bad in the ring, the Bellas can't act their way into a WWE film, and everyone else is annoying.  Certainly trying times for the ladies of WWE.  Sometimes the most exciting move in Divas tag matches are double suplexes.  Poor AJ looks bored and like she needs some more competition.  I give Paige credit but there can only be so many matches between those two.  
• If this were the Attitude Era Paige and AJ would've made out by now.  

Whoops, forgot it's the PG era.

• Paul Heyman time!  Everyone take a sip for each mention of the words 'beast' 'brock' 'lllllllesnar' 'client' and 'authorized'.  
• Who gives warnings to wrestlers?  Seems a bit pointless to me.  Also, I miss his bald + ponytail with a baseball cap look.  
• John Cena is here, meaning that his entrance song is going to be in my head until Thursday.  
• I don't fully get the signs of John Cena with 'MEEP MOOP' on them which keep showing up more and more frequently.  That being said, I also love them and I can't help but laugh.  

• Beat Brock Lesnar by 3 words?  "Turn. Me. Heel." I think it's actually hard for Heyman to lie and claim that everyone is on John Cena's side to put Lesnar over as the heel.  I bet Heyman was waiting all week to say "CENA SUCKS" 12 times in a row.  
• Aw, poor big fat ugly unemployed guy in the 6th row just got called out :-(
• Wow, this is why Heyman is a genius.  Bringing back the Doctor of Thuganomics and making his own freestyle shitting on Baltimore.  This is a good promo against Cena.  I think Cena actually agrees with everything he is saying deep down.  Does Cena get tired of fighting in cargo shorts and/or jorts?  I get tired of them in the summer, never mind wearing them year round.  

Bonus points for the XFL hat!

• The Cena Sucks chants are definitely starting to overtake the Let's Go Cena chants.  For a while it had been 50/50 but things are starting to get old.  John Cena will be the next Bret Hart.
• Isn't interesting that Cena is considered to be so great when he's scripted to be so great?  Whoa, philosophy.  
• Cena is getting emotional and fired up here.  It actually is somewhat refreshing seeing him get excited about something since the rest of him is boring and probably bored being at the top of the foodchain. 

• Love me some Seth Rollins, but I miss Dean Ambrose so much more.  Ambrose needs to come back soon.  WWE messed up so bad by having Ambrose do this shitty WWE film.  As for this match, if Sheamus had an actual personality besides a jolly Irishman who loves to fight for potatoes this match would be so much interesting.  
• Is it just me or has Rollins stopped some of his high flying moves since joining the Authority?  With the exception of Money in the Bank where he got the shit kicked out of him in some scary spots, he has kinda stayed grounded, which is disappointing.  WWE needs more high flyers.  Can't we just bring back Jeff Hardy?  Without the facepaint may I add.  
• Oh man, is Cesaro finally joining the Authority!?  Please, make it happen.  Cesaro needs a bigger role in this company.  He should be like a much more important version of The Big Boss Man when he was in the Corporation.  Go out there, take care of business, climb the ranks of importance on the roster.  Someday, Cesaro should be a champion.  

Best gif of this blog's young history. 

• Speaking of which, since Sheamus is boring and I can talk about other topics, shouldn't the Authority grow a bit?  Not just with Cesaro, but add a few other people to make them relevant.  I long for the old days where there were various factions and a few rebels who went their own way.  Let Reigns and Ambrose do their own thing and be on their own, but let's get some more characters involved in a sort of turf war type of deal.  We don't need a 2nd coming of the Ministry of Darkness, but something refreshing could be a nice change of pace.  
• Sheamus is so white.  God.  
• The Curb Stomp is actually a pretty sweet finisher.  Kinda surprised that hasn't been used that often before Seth Rollins.  I have always thought having a good finishing move that looks like it can actually hurt is key to having a good character.  Stone Cold Stunner?  Awesome.  Sweet Chin Music?  Can strike out of nowhere.  Pedigree?  Looks like it'll hurt.  The Curb Stomp can become one of these if Rollins becomes successful as a singles star. 

Simple, yet effective.  I would never want to get hit with this.

• WWE spends way too much time recapping, plugging Twitter, stats and Total Divas.  USE THIS TIME TO HELP DEVELOP MORE STARS WITH BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS!  HAVE PEOPLE ATTACK OTHER PEOPLE BACKSTAGE!  BRING BACK THE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP.  This is getting ridiculous.  
• Boy, that Lana is a fox huh?  She'd be great playing a fake Bond girl in an Austin Powers movie.  In that setting her awful Russian accent would be acceptable.  I give her credit, she is pretty easy on the ol' peepers.  
• Blah blah blah Lana and the national anthem with slightly altered lyrics.  
• Hey an NXT takeover is actually a pretty good idea.  This is a nice little change up for things.  I guess it's about time to showcase the future of the company.  Lord knows it needs all the help it can get in the PG era.  This match is actually starting to steal the show here.  
• Geez.  That was one hell of a Red Arrow right there.  Adrian Neville definitely made some people realize that he has a bright future.  Can we get some more NXT next week?  I'll gladly take this over more recaps of Total Divas.  

  

  I would love to see this from a ladder putting someone through a table. LOVE.

• Jerry Springer time.  This is one celeb guest that the crowd actually might not mind.  Oh yay, Brie got her own shitty theme music.  This feud would actually be interesting if the Bellas both weren't such awful actresses.  
• The crowd will start chanting 'BOOOOORRRRRING' in 3.....2.......1.......
• You think John Cena paid for the twins of that one twin that he is dating?  See what I did there?
• Is Nikki Bella drunk?  Looks like she's about to fall down and her hair is a hot mess.  I think she's been hittin' the hooch in the back with some town drunk.
• The crowd laughing to the father of the Bella's video asking for help really summed up this whole feud.  
• Is this guy the Bella's brother or Fandango's brother?
• Steve Wilkos would've broken this fight up the second it started.  Jerry Springer needs to bring that guy back.  
• "Jerry's hurt!"- Michael Cole, as Jerry Springer and Stephanie McMahon are laughing to each other and he says 'I'm fine' in the ring. Geez.  NEVER BREAK CHARACTER JERRY! NEVER!

• Los Matadores have to be the most boring tag team in the game right now.  Talk about a gimmick that flopped even before they got started.  When they started showing promos for these guys I was already bored.  Stardust is a whackjob huh?  I wonder if this was something Cody Rhodes thought of himself or it was something he begrudgingly agreed to do.  
• Goldust has still got it.  Thinking about it now he was one of the guys who I knew about even before I really started watching wrestling in '97, so that dude has been around for a while. Amazing how some of these guys can last for years while some guys are in such bad shape at such a young age.  

• Okay, so who are the heels here?  Goldust and Stardust or the Uso's?  I think Uso's are the faces?  Maybe?  I'm confused.  

• For a guy that loves fun, Adam Rose sure is a lame character.  The fucking bunny rabbit gets more love than him.  Honestly at this point we should get a Slater/Rabbit match at Night of Champions instead of Titus O'Neill vs Rose, if that's what they're thinking.  Adam Rose is never going to get fully over with the crowd.  I think he was supposed to be one one of those characters like the Godfather or Val Venis who always gets a hot reaction, but the PG era just ruins him.

great moves.

• Give Adam Rose a drinking problem or a drug problem and give him some hippie catchphrase and maybe he'll start to catch on.  
• I think Roman Reigns should just be a silent killer type.  He's not thaaat bad when talking on the mic, but I think he'd be more dominant if he just didn't talk much and just struck when he needed to.  Besides that, I'm a big fan of his and think he's the future.  
• The King's joke about pacisfist/pass-a-fist was actually kinda good.  I do miss the old perverted King with great one-liners.  The King might have been hurt the most from the PG era.  

Brilliant.

• is that stat true about only HHH, Flair and Cena have held more titles than Orton?!  Holy shit Orton is so under the radar.  Randy Orton has been the same asshole since he debuted, and like Cena he hasn't changed a bit.  That's an actually amazing stat right there.
• What is going to happen with guys like Reigns and Rollins and Orton at Night of Champions?  Just fight for nothing that night? Get Reigns in the title picture pronto!  
• Wonder what Spike Dudley is up to these days.  He's probably bored by the PG era too.  
• Roman Reigns may need to add some moves to his set so he can avoid the John Cena-esque 5 moves of doom gripe that many fans have.  This guy is too talented to just do the same thing night after night after night.  Spike Dudley had more than 5 moves, I can tell you that!
• The Randy Orton powerslam is pretty badass.  Might be the only thing exciting about Randy Orton.  The punt is pretty cool too besides the fact that I feel like one day it may actually kill a man.  

Fun!

• Well this is......different?  I like how that generic "cage is coming down" music is playing even now.  This just got pretty legit for a main event.  
• Okay, never mind my earlier comment about Seth Rollins not being a high flyer in a while. That just changed.  This would've been a much bigger spot had Y2J not done the same exact thing earlier tonight, but hey it was still pretty awesome.  
• Wait, can Ambrose possibly come back right now?  Maybe?  Please?
• This ending got pretty predictable.  Could've been so much better.  Looks like we'll be getting the Rollins and Reigns feud, which actually could be fun to watch.  From the replay, that cross body from Rollins was pretty perfect.  

Overall, interesting night of Raw.  An upgrade from the past few weeks, but the endings still need more oomph, ya know?  Anyways, until next week, this has been the first official edition of Raw is What!?